


Aftermath

by n0xx



Series: Destiny Still Arrives [2]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Body Worship, Cabins, Child Loss, Cock Worship, Comfort, Comfort Sex, Comfort/Angst, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family Loss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Head Injury, Injury, Large Cock, Loss, Memories, Murder, Near Death Experiences, Nightmares, Oral Sex, Partnership, Penis Size, Post-War, Power Dynamics, Power Play, Pregnancy, Reality, Relationship Issues, Sacrifice, Smut, Soul Stone (Marvel), Swimming, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-13 00:16:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 4,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14738492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/n0xx/pseuds/n0xx
Summary: Follow up to "Destiny Still Arrives." Thanos is grieving the losses he suffered during the war for the Infinity Stones.





	1. Chapter 1

"Daughter..."

You jolt awake. This has been your wake up call every night for the past few weeks. It still startles you. You look over at the sleeping Titan whose bed you're sharing and let out a sigh of desperation.

"Daughter..." Thanos chokes out again, his voice teetering on the edge of a sob. 

The first night, you'd made the mistake of trying to wake him. This had alarmed him so much that he'd nearly killed you upon waking. Despite his immense power and the fact that he had seen his conquest completed, he still seems fearful and on edge. Unfortunately for you, he had been wearing the gauntlet that night. His response to being woken from this wretched nightmare involved firing at will and resulted in you being badly injured. You think of this every night now and do your best to see him through his nightmares without making things worse. They are terrible, though, and seeing him this way makes your heart ache. 

It's a routine now. You reach out to put a gentle hand on his chest and watch the sleeping Titan's face contort as his nightmare escalates. You wonder what exactly he is seeing; he hasn't let you in on that secret yet, but you can imagine. 

"I had to.. had no choice.." his voice breaks. "S-sorry.. I'm sorry.." 

The bed trembles. Your heart races in response. Hesitantly, you reach up to touch his cheek. Every night you try to find a new way to wake him, to cut these terrors short, without making it worse. "Thanos.." 

He chokes out a sob. It is a painful, pitiful sound. Tears stream down his grooved cheeks. "I'm-- I'm so sorry... daughter.." 

"Thanos, please.." 

It suddenly seems as though he's woken. The purple beast rolls over and buries his face in your shoulder, letting out shuddering, heaving sobs. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." he repeats, begging for forgiveness from someone who cannot hear him. This is a side of the Mad Titan you had never expected to see. 

You say nothing because nothing in the past has worked. Instead, you hold him. That's all you can do. You stroke the back of his massive head and leave chaste kisses on his cheek. Eventually, he falls asleep again. 

When morning comes, Thanos will go about the day as usual. In the weeks following the war for the Infinity Stones, the two of you have built a life together. No one knows where you are. If not for the constant nightmares, this life would truly be peaceful. You hunt together. You cook together. On occasion, you strip and swim together. You make furious, passionate, desperate love to make up for the time you spent apart. Each new experience with Thanos is eye-opening. Beautiful. Breathtaking. But then night falls and he crumbles. You want nothing more than to see him through it, but he refuses to acknowledge it when he's lucid. 

You hate this. How can he rest, how can he heal, when he punishes himself so brutally each night?


	2. Chapter 2

You are barely able to sleep. Daybreak, which is normally a welcome sign of morning, annoys you today. But, just as you’ve predicted, Thanos wakes and rolls out of bed without complaining. You watch from your spot beneath the sheets as he grabs a towel and walks outside. It’s warm out and, even though the cabin has a shower, you’ve both been bathing in the glistening body of water outside. Instead of following like you usually do, you stay in bed. Normally you’d love nothing more than to soak up the sun with a naked Thanos, but you’re exhausted. 

And more than that, you’re frustrated. 

You understand being reserved. You know that men are notoriously bad at processing their emotions and aren’t surprised that a conqueror like Thanos would be worse than most. After all, so much of his power comes from exercising restraint. But for how much he’s struggling, you’d think he would let you in at least a little bit. Aren’t you supposed to be his everything? His _universe_? You grumble a little and tear yourself away from bed. Difficult or not, you can’t hide from the Titan all day. Maybe he just needs more time. Maybe the nightmares will go away. Maybe he will heal on his own. 

But days pass. Nothing changes. Night comes, he screams, you hold him, he cries. Then he falls back asleep. You lie awake after a particularly dreadful episode, fighting yourself. Your heart pounds in your chest. Part of you is devastated for him. You hate to see him in pain, especially this intense emotional anguish. The other half of you wants to wake him up and demand that he explain himself, demand that he work through his grief with you. He should be able to relinquish some control when he’s with you. 

It’s still dark when you slip out of bed, gently moving the Titan off of you. Thankfully he doesn’t stir. You toss the sheets back over him, then fish some clothing out from your dresser in the dimly lit cabin. Material possessions, for the most part, have very little meaning to you. This includes clothing. You settle one of your very few outfits: a dark getup that you usually wear when hunting. Next you grab your bow and arrows, slinging it over your shoulder with ease. It was a gift from Thanos. _Elegant and powerful_ , he’d told you, _just like you._ Usually you hunt together, but you notice that your food supply is low and decide that going out on your own will give you a chance to clear your head. Thanos’ seemingly unlimited power makes hunting unnecessary… hell, it makes exerting energy in most circumstances pointless… but he agrees that there is something satisfying about killing your own food. The woods around the cabin are brimming with protein sources. 

When the sun finally rises, you are on the top of a jagged cliff. You were so caught up in your own thoughts that you passed many opportunities for a kill and continued climbing. The air is fresh and cool. The scent of wildflowers fills your nostrils. Wherever you are, it’s truly beautiful and you’re beyond grateful to be sharing it with Thanos. Movement seems to have helped cleared your mind and calmed you a bit. Beneath the cliff you can see glimmering water. It’s the same body (ocean? lake? you’re not sure) that graces the shore near your cabin. In fact, you can see your home from where you stand. As you survey the scenery, you notice that the door to the cabin opens and your hulking beast of a man crowds the doorway. 

You inhale deeply and steady yourself, a few stones tumbling off the edge of the cliff as you shift your feet. You haven’t killed anything to take back to the cabin, but your hike has been productive nonetheless. The water looks welcoming and you feel like a swim could help your tired body reset. 

Without a second thought, you grip your bow tightly and jump.


	3. Chapter 3

It's a long drop. It feels like time slows as you're falling. You're able to look back toward the cabin in time to see Thanos rushing back through the doorway. Before you can even ponder what he's doing, jagged rocks beneath you catch your eye. Had those been there before you'd jumped? There was no way you'd missed them. You wouldn't have jumped if you'd seen them.. you won't clear them. 

Then there's searing pain. Followed by darkness.


	4. Chapter 4

You've never heard Thanos swear before, but that's exactly what he's doing when you regain consciousness. 

"Fuck, fuck, fuck... not you.. not you.."

A violent cough ejects frigid water from your mouth and you gasp for fresh air. You groan, forcing your eyes open. The bright light of daytime is blinding. Your entire body aches and you're not exactly sure which part of you hit the rocks the hardest. Along with your unusual strength comes a surprisingly high pain tolerance, but this hurts. 

When you look up at Thanos, a tremendous sigh of relief escapes him. The look on his face is one you can't place: concern, fear, frustration, rage? His reaction is the furthest from what you'd expect. He doesn't ask if you're okay, he doesn't comfort you... no, once you're conscious, he stands up and leaves you on the shore. He doesn't go far, just paces back and forth near the treeline. 

It hurts to sit up but you force yourself to. Unsure of what the Titan's deal is, you assess the damage to your half-mortal body. Your clothes are torn here and there, revealing a few scrapes. You run a hand through your hair and wince as your fingers graze a gash. There it is. That explains the brain fog. 

Thanos is pacing so hard that he's wearing down the ground beneath him. His left hand, complete with gauntlet, is clenched in a fist. The other hand is rubbing his face frusgratedly. Suddenly, he stops, and you find yourself frozen in fear. The sound that he makes next scares birds from the surrounding trees. It is a mighty roar.. the absolute embodiment of rage. 

Then he looks at you. _"What were you thinking?"_


	5. Chapter 5

_"Or were you even thinking at all?"_

"It was an accident," you manage through gritted teeth and force yourself onto your feet. You refuse to be scolded like a child and will absolutely not sit there and take it. What a way to show his concern.. and after all of the sleepless nights you've spent nursing his wounds, both physical and emotional. You're furious. 

"You shouldn't stand," Thanos tells you, his tone softening very suddenly. It catches you off guard. It's almost as if his brain is malfunctioning and he can't decide exactly how he feels. "You're injured." 

"You're giving me whiplash, _Great Titan_ ," you tell him, your voice thick with irritation. You do your best not to look too surprised by his attitude, but it stings nearly as much as your gaping head wound. Before you close the gap between you and Titan, you snatch your bow off of the ground. Apparently you'd held onto it tightly during your tumble. You walk up to him confidently despite feeling light-headed and look him in the eyes. The difference in height works to your disadvantage; you barely come up to his chest, so you make sure your gaze delivers the message your posture cannot. "Do you care or not? Why are you so angry with me?" 

He closes his eyes and exhales deeply through his nose. "I tried to catch you," he says solemnly, tightening his gloved fist. _That_ was why he had run back into the cabin; he had needed the gauntlet, which he usually keeps off to make you happy. "I tried to catch you, but I couldn't..." 

"It's okay. It's not your fault." 

"You hit your head. There was so much blood, I didn't--" Thanos swallows hard. Since when does blood bother him? His brow furrows, but his eyes stay shut. A few stay tears squeeze out from between his clenched lids. "I didn't know if you would wake up. I can't-- I can't lose you." 

"I'm okay. I'll be fine." 

Just as quickly as his tone softened, his walls go up again. "You don't understand," he says calmly, seriously. His golden eyes snap open. "You couldn't possibly understand the loss I've endured." 

Of the two of you, you tend to be the more patient one, but you feel your temper rising rapidly. Thanos knows that you have dealt with loss. Unimaginable loss. Loss that most people could not endure. You look away, unable to face him after his biting commentary. You grit your teeth and it sends a bolt of pain through your head. Part of you is still trying to rationalize what's happening, to side with Thanos even though he is not on your side. When you finally look back at him, you force your words out carefully, "Then _help me understand._ "


	6. Chapter 6

Thanos doesn’t reply. Instead, he puts his face in his massive hands. 

You’re trying desperately to remain calm and compassionate towards the Titan because you know he’s grieving, but this truly is a test of your patience. Not once you did you expect that he’d shut you out like this, not after all you’d been through together. You take a couple of unsteady steps towards him, head still spinning. It’s surprising that for someone so meticulous and calculated and logical, Thanos is actually drowning in a torrent of emotion. “Night after night, I’ve held you while you cried for Gamora,” you tell him seriously. “That’s my duty as your ally, as your companion, and I’m happy to fulfill it.” 

The Titan’s shoulders tremble. 

“And if you need me to do that every night for the rest of my days, I will,” you continue. Your heart pounds frantically in your chest and you’re unsure whether your speech is doing more harm than good. But he needs to know the reality of the situation. “You _must_ know that by now. I’ve proven myself loyal time and time again. But Thanos,” you reach up and pull his hands away from his face. The giant’s bluish cheeks are streaked with tears, much like they are during his nightmares. You pull him down and press your forehead to his. “You need to let me in.”

The look of fear in his honeyed eyes tells that you that ‘you don’t understand’ was a statement of trepidation and not accusation. 

“You won’t lose me,” you assure him, voice suddenly filling with emotion. You will yourself to remain neutral, knowing that having two very strong, very expressive beings in the same space can be volatile. “I won’t run.” 

There’s a flash of red as the Titan clenches his gloved fist. Suddenly, the scenery around you changes. You recognize this place somehow; it’s a dark, swirling planet of almost complete nothingness. 

You’re on Vormir.


	7. Chapter 7

Hours pass. Or maybe it’s only minutes… seconds… Time is irrelevant within this materialized memory. You nearly forget to breathe as you watch the scene unfold. Father and daughter stand at the edge of a cliff. The Red Skull explains the means for retrieving the Soul Stone and you suddenly understand the painful truth of how it came to live on the Titan’s fist. Your stomach turns. 

Though you’re at a distance, you hear everything. _“The universe has judged you. You asked it for a prize, and it told you no. You failed. And do you wanna know why? Because you love nothing. No one.”_ This accusation shatters your heart. From where you’re standing, you can’t see the Titan’s face, but you can imagine what it must look like. You know firsthand that Thanos loves many things, many people. He loved his daughter. He loves the way breeze blows the trees outside your cabin. He loved the Ebony Maw and those who served him, in his own way. Though he hasn’t said it in as many words, you know he loves you. If Gamora could see the way he’d worried about her over the years, the way he mourns her now, she would understand that her claims were false. She would understand that the decision he made next was not a simple one. 

_“I ignored my destiny once,”_ he tells her, his expression pained. _“I cannot do that again. Even for you.”_

When Thanos grabs his daughter by the wrist and drags her to the edge of the cliff, you want to look away. You want to run. This is a memory you will not be able to scrub from your thoughts. But you promised him. Part of being loyal, of loving Thanos, is shouldering some of his burden. 

Gamora’s scream fills the air as she falls and the scene fades. 

Black atmosphere peels away to reveal the lush, green landscape of the forest. 

Your Titan kneels on the ground before you, trembling. 

The implications of this discovery are far-reaching. You had known all along that Gamora was dead and you’d thought that she had vanished with half of the universe. Or perhaps she’d died fighting. But you’d never imagined that _this_ was how she’d died. You have seen into Thanos’ nightmares and have some understanding of the way he tortures himself every day with this memory. Not only that, but now you know why the sight of you hurling yourself off a cliff had terrified him so. The idea that Thanos was somehow _wrong_ , that he had ended a life for no reason, doesn’t cross your mind. 

Nevertheless, you’re at a loss for words. What do you say to a man who has sacrificed so much? You place a gentle hand on the Titan’s cheek and stroke it lovingly. “You don’t have to bear this burden alone.”


	8. Chapter 8

Thanos captures your hand in one of his and presses his lips to your palm. “You are so patient,” he tells you, his golden eyes opening to meet yours. It never strikes you as odd that he’s kneeling and you only manage to see eye-to-eye with him because you’re completely upright. “So strong.” Another kiss to the palm. Thanos loves his ‘children’ because he molded them to fit his exact needs and made them who they are: fierce warriors, obedient and ruthless. But you’re self-made. He played no part in your creation, in the hardening of your soul. Maybe that’s why he admires you so. “Beautiful,” he comments, stroking a strand of hair from your face with his golden fist. “I can’t lose you.” 

You smirk a little and make a silent promise to yourself: no more cliff jumping. Normally feeling restricted in any way drives you crazy, but this is a rule you’re willing to make if it means preserving Thanos’ sanity. “You won’t,” you tell him for what feels like the millionth time today. You’ll say it as many times as he needs you to. “I’m yours.”

“Maybe one day you’ll wake up and realize that you deserve—”

You cut him off with a kiss. “Don’t be ridiculous. I said I’m yours.”

Thanos laughs. Finally. It’s a sound that lifts the cloud hanging over you. “How can I show you what you mean to me, Goddess?” 

But both of you know that he’s already shown you in so many ways. He shows you in the way he looks at you, in the way he serves you on a regular basis, and most recently, in the way he let his walls down for you. Instead of telling him that, you think about what he could _really_ do, right then. It’s a lot to ask, but you’ve asked him several times before and he’s told you no. Thanos is a giver in the bedroom, but for once, you want him to take. “I think you know.” 

More laughter. “I should’ve guessed.” 

You kiss him again and smile against his lips. The bow drops from your fingers onto the soft ground. “Here, right now. Let me taste you.”


	9. Chapter 9

The Titan swallows hard and you can't help but laugh a little. It's a playful laugh. How is that the most powerful being in the universe is afraid of having his cock sucked? 

"Here..." he repeats, his voice uncertain. 

You allow a little more distance between your face and his, then cock your head as you look at him. "There's no one around," you remind him. "In the weeks we've been here, I haven't seen another soul." Thanos must have known that; he'd obviously picked this as his resting place for a reason. "But even if we were surrounded, my King," you tell him with a sly smile, "I'd gladly service you out in the open." You stroke his cheek lovingly, then drop your hand to his chest. "And why shouldn't people see us? You are Thanos, the Mad Titan, the wielder of the Infinity Gauntlet. It would be their _privilege_ to lay their eyes upon you and your Goddess." 

Suddenly, the soreness of your injuries seems nearly non-existent. The thought of fucking your Titan in the middle of the woods is invigorating and empowering, as is calling yourself _his_ Goddess. There's something endearing about the half smile he offers you. You know that this, allowing himself pleasure, is a sensitive topic for Thanos. You wonder briefly if it's because he feels as though he doesn't deserve it, or if he prefers to give rather than take, or if he's uncomfortable with being vulnerable. In all the times you've made ground-shaking, bed-crushing love with the Titan, not once have you had the privilege of seeing his face while he lets loose. You can only imagine what an amazing sight that must be. 

"Are you afraid you won't enjoy yourself?" you ask him curiously. Neither of you would ever mention it, but you're both experienced lovers and you're not exactly worried about your skills. 

"Not in the slightest," he tells you. Perhaps he's worried he will enjoy himself too much. "But you almost died," Thanos reminds you, his voice wavering on the last word. "Are you sure you're up for this?" 

"Stop making excuses." You wrap your arms around his neck and kiss the Mad Titan deeply, loving the way he tastes. You can feel his heart thundering in his chest against yours. "I'm positive," you murmur against his lips. "Let me love you."

When he rises to his feet, the ground trembles. A surge of excitement courses through your body and you feel lightheaded. But you waste no time undoing his belt and smirk a little as you notice the sizable bulge in his trousers. Despite his trepidation, he's excited. A sigh of relief leaves the Titan as you set him free from his fabric restraints and his flushed, rapidly hardening member hangs heavily between his thighs. It is enormous. It almost seems like it's too big for your body to take, but you've thought that before.. and each time, it has fit perfectly. 

"You don't have to--"

Before he can continue his insecure commentary, you take Thanos' erection in your hand and run your tongue up its length. 

"--oh God."


	10. Chapter 10

Any instance where you leave Thanos speechless is a success in your opinion. So, when his breath hitches in his throat and he can’t seem to speak, you feel proud. Yet again, your height difference proves disadvantageous to you, so you’re left half crouching as you lap at his cock. You brace yourself by placing a hand on one of his bare thighs. It tenses beneath your fingers and you can't help but think of how absolutely _in awe_ of this giant you are. Every inch of him is perfect -- he is your ideal man. 

You slip the head of his now rock-hard organ between your lips and suck lightly. He even tastes perfect. As you suck, your free hand runs up his length and strokes it expertly. You're so enraptured by your work that you're surprised when Thanos reaches down towards you. The Titan grabs your shirt, which was torn significantly in your fall but has dried in the sun since, and tears it even further. Suddenly, your breasts are exposed and he's kneading one with his large palm. 

You whimper against his engorged flesh and eagerly take more of it into your mouth. It seems like an impossible feat, but you want it all. That's just like you, isn't it? Some might call it greedy, but Thanos calls it ambitious. Bold. Domineering. Though as you glance up at him, concern seems to be making his enjoyment. He is _always_ worried about hurting you. You're desperate for him to let go and enjoy himself. 

"Don't think so much," you purr after pulling yourself off of his cock with a wet pop. You continue stroking him, however. "Let me worship you... please." 

Thanos closes his eyes and lets his head fall back a little. Thankfully, he doesn't protest even though he probably considered it. You can help but drink in the sight before you and sigh; this man, this Hercules of yours, spoils you just by existing. When your lips meet his flesh again, you're in heaven. As you relax your throat to swallow more of the Titan, you pull him forward roughly by grasping his balls. 

You want every. single. inch. 

A stifled moan escapes Thanos' lips, probably against his will. When he opens his eyes to look down at you, he gasps. His hand has become rough on your chest and his breathing has become shallow. "Show me how badly you want it, Goddess." 

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

In the following moments, you find yourself grateful for your lack of gag reflex. You take him to the hilt. 

Thanos bites his lip and groans. "Good girl." He swipes his thumb across your chin, where a puddle of saliva is gathering. It takes a great deal of spit to slide this monster down your throat, you realize. You pull off of it a little and continue your ministrations, sucking, stroking the remaining length that your throat can't always take. Your hands massage the Titan's balls and knead the spot behind them. It takes a while, but it seems he is allowing himself to surrender a little bit of control. Grateful moans escape his lips as you stroke him expertly and when you move to run your tongue up his balls, he lets his head fall back again. "Oh, ohhh, Goddess.." 

You keep your gaze on him any chance you get, not wanting to miss a single glimpse of the expression on his face. It is beautiful. His brow furrows. He bites his lip. Primal, hungry moans escape his parted lips. Occasionally his eyes open and he looks at you lovingly before they drift shut with pleasure once again. 

Though you're perfectly content serving him in this moment, a fire in roaring within you. Your certain that a single touch from Thanos could send you over the edge. And right as the thought crosses your mind, you hear him say, "I-- I need, I need to be inside you." His voice is desperate, almost as if his life depends on it. 

_"Yes,"_ you respond with the same urgency. You let go of his cock so that you can kick off your boots and trousers. Thanos helps by tugging off the remains of your shirt. When you throw your arms around his neck, he crushes his lips to yours and hoists you into his arms with ease. It takes him only a moment to position himself at your wet, neglected entrance. He plunges into you and you see stars. You're still not used to his size but good god, it feels divine. "Fuck me," you beg, hardly able to breathe. "Claim me." 

There is no hesitation as Thanos drives into you, holding you tightly as he hammers away at your cunt. The angle hits every desperate, needy spot perfectly and in seconds, you feel an orgasm building within you. The Titan is relentless in his thrusting. You can tell he's close, too. 

You grab his face and, between shallow breaths, tell him, _"I want - every - last - drop."_

"Yes.. yes.. yes, oh _god_ , fuck..." A roar rumbles from deep in Thanos chest and his climax crashes through him like a raging storm. The throbbing of his tremendous cock inside of you sparks your own orgasm and you tighten around him as he empties into you. 


	12. Chapter 12

That night, Thanos sleeps peacefully. Days pass with fewer restless nights, but they’re not completely gone. You know that grief doesn’t just vanish that way. Whenever you wake to him being consumed by nightmares, you still hold him and reassure him. 

A few weeks after your cliff diving escapade, you’re startled awake by a familiar word. 

_“Daughter..”_

You groan a little and sigh, mentally preparing yourself to comfort Thanos. But when you open your eyes, you’re surprised to see him awake. He’s lying on his side next to you and his golden hand is resting gently on your abdomen. It is glowing yellow – he’s using the Soul Stone.

“What’s wrong?” you ask, unsure of exactly what’s happening. It takes a moment for you to fully wake up. Your mind feels foggy.

Thanos doesn’t reply. Instead he closes his eyes as if he’s focusing on a thought deep within his mind. The glow of the gauntlet intensifies.

In all of the time you’ve been _wherever you are_ , you haven’t bled. This hadn’t occurred to you until now. How could it? All of your energy had gone into supporting Thanos in his time of need, into enjoying your new home, adventuring with your Titan… why would _that_ ever cross your mind? You’d chalked the fatigue and change in appetite up to stress. It’s no surprise that having frequent, unprotected sex would have consequences; you’d just never stopped to consider them. 

Your heart thunders almost painfully in your chest. Suddenly, you’re terrified. Surely someone who believed in population control would be against procreating. You have no idea how Thanos will react after he comes back to you. Carefully, hesitantly, you try to reach him again. “Thanos…” What exactly is he seeing? 

His golden eyes open and meet yours. “Nothing’s wrong,” he tells you quietly, then offers you a half-smile that melts your heart. His eyes are wet with tears threatening to fall. “She’s perfectly healthy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued, with an actual post-Infinity War plot involving other characters..

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments, especially if there's something you'd like to see. Thanks!


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